With five days left on this 90 day journey through Europe, I am at the stage we call contemplation and review: what I have seen and done, what I have achieved and walked through, what I have enjoyed, found challenging, and maybe most important: where did I drink the best coffee?
I'm reviewing the two scripts I spent the most time with on this journey and finding the places where I excelled at driving the story and cutting between scenes, the places that still need more fleshing out. And I am grateful to witness how much stronger my writing in a screenplay format is now than it was a year ago.
I think about when I landed in Stockholm in June, where I drank beer in Berlin, the long and meandering walks through Paris in a hot, hot, heat. I think about the suffocating feeling I had in Copenhagen and waking up to heart-shaped waffles in Gothenburg. I think about the baristas who have never been to the States, how every European wants to go to Iceland, the way all of the food in Europe tastes better, and how Parisians dress compared to the rest of the (western) world.
I think about the terrorism that happened in July, particularly in Turkey and Iraq and Germany and France. I think about the subways and trains and busses. How I've walked for miles and miles and miles on this trip. I think about meditation and all of the podcasts I listened to. I think about all of the scripts I read and movies and tv shows I watched. Learning craft. Learning character. Learning content.
I think about how much I have changed; the things I needed answered, answered. The things still uncertain. And that is okay. I am still moving and learning and trying and being still.
I still know Seattle isn't the place for me. I still know I'm going to keep wandering, with my sights set on making it to Cape Breton in Nova Scotia in a month (or so). I know too, that I am American, as much as I am by ancestry Scottish and French and Polish and....it goes on. While my work might well take me back to Europe one day, my current work, as I feel it, see it, experience it, is in North America at this time. And I know that had I not taken this journey right now, I wouldn't have ever figured that out. I wouldn't have discovered a love for Berlin, for big cities and public transportation, a love for trying new languages, however poorly. I wouldn't have had the joy of waking up, knowing that the day was full of wander. Of cafes and polite people. Of good food and simplicity. Of writing and contemplation.
This has absolutely been the journey for me. The journey I needed, even if at times it would turn in ways that I didn't want, and the journey that collected me into myself. Solid. Defining. Creating.
I am grateful to the nature spirits, the good and true and beautiful of my ancestors, the Mother Goddess, the Father God, Spirit/Creator, the benevolent and loving spirits and tenders of the North, East, South, and West. I am grateful to my personal guides and spirits and the angels. And most of all, I thank my soul.